Now Everyone Can Drive an SUV

(source: Wikipedia)

Tony Fernandes, the founder of budget airline AirAsia and budget hotel Tune Hotel, has teamed up with Renault to produce sport utility vehicles (SUV).

I expect Tony to give us the cheapest SUV in the market. But the base model will be without air-conditioner, music player, power steering, power windows, air bag, cup holders and spare tyre. You may add some or all of these items – at additional charges.

Also, Tony will not appoint resellers for the SUV. You place order online and pick up your vehicle from the warehouse. Alternatively, pay a fee for it to be delivered to your doorstep.

Are you excited?

Free, with Terms & Conditions

Blogger SK wrote about a promotion campaign of KFC in Malaysia. The fast food giant offered free Zinger burgers for a month. Within a few hours after the promotion started, however, KFC had to discontinue the offer ‘due to overwhelming response’.

Is it possible for a business to offer some free goods or service, and still make money?

Well, AirAsia, the budget airline, has been giving away ‘free seats’ from time to time. But the passengers have to pay for everything else, from ‘convenience fee’ to baggage free to check-in fee.

In Japan, there is this kind of eateries called tachi-soba, literally ‘standing soba’. Patrons of these eateries are required to stand while having their meal. No seats are provided. See pictures below…

Source

Now, combining the concepts of AirAsia and tachi-soba, I am thinking of starting a restaurant which serves free noodles, but with terms and conditions…

• Noodle – free
• Service charge – RM5
• Bowl – RM1 (you can bring your own bowl)
• Chopsticks + spoon – RM1 (you can bring your own chopsticks)
• Drinks – various prices
• Chair – RM1 (you may stand)
• Use of restroom – RM1

On the other hand, I would increase my revenue by selling ads space in the shop…

So, anybody want to join my new venture?

Beautiful Assassins

Assassin #1 – Justina…

Assassin #2 – Sammi…

Justina catches her opponent off guard…

Sammi firing shots…

Face off…

Sammi successfully subdues Justina…

THE END

Multi-lingual 笑劇

記得小時聽過一個本地的諧劇，當時是用卡帶聽的。。。

劇名是《走江湖》。它是說一名廣東籍的江湖郎中，到了某個地方，想要推銷他的藥，就找了個福建人做翻譯。福建人頻頻翻譯錯，鬧出許多笑話。以下是其中幾句：

廣東人：今日細佬初次黎到貴地。

福建人：依小弟昨咪有給鬼捏。

...

廣東人：食咗包你冇事。

福建人：o甲了tia tiok 包死。

...

廣東人：我包兩包畀你。

福建人：依巴nei巴給你。

...

廣東人：一年醫四百幾人。

福建人：一年醫死百gua人。

廣東人：每一個都冇事。

福建人：沒一個沒死。

這一類多語言笑劇，恐怕也只有新馬華人才聽得懂。可惜的是，獅城李光耀政府和大馬『熱愛母語』的一群過去數十年推行『講華語運動』，年輕一代華人的方言都『唔駛得』。

如果這裏有哪一位仁兄仁姐還有《走江湖》的卡帶或唱片，就請你設法把它轉換成MP3格式讓大家分享吧。我先在此謝過。。。

Highway Traffic

This picture was taken on Feb 12, 2010, when I was on my way back to hometown for Chinese New Year celebration. The traffic was slow on this stretch of the highway. The reason: there were police officers 5km ahead.

Malaysian drivers are flexible. They like to speed at 130 or 140kph on the highway. But they are ready to slow down to 50kph when they spot officers in uniform. That is, even though the speed limit is 110kph!

Causes on Facebook II

In one of my posts written last January, I mentioned that there were many ‘causes’ which Facebook members could join. I doubted their impact, though.

Recently, I came across a funny ‘cause’ on that social networking site:

Foundation for the protection of Swedish underwear models

I have no idea what this foundation does. It has got more than half a million members. Money donated - $313! What a joke.

Rather than raising fund on Facebook, I would suggest that the foundation bring a few of these models to Malaysia to perform on stage. More money can be raised. (Closed event, of course. This is a Muslim-majority nation.) I believe Malaysian shutterbugs would also like to photograph these models in lingerie.

简繁之争

WARNING: This post is 18SX!



香港已经於十余年前回归中国了，为何港人还是用繁体字呢？

简体的『干』，在繁体字里可以是『乾』或『幹』。乾是乾燥的乾，幹是幹活的幹。两个字完全不同，但在简体字里就可能搞不清楚啦。

在中国大陆，有人用网上翻译工具将『干货』译成英文，结果如下：

Thanks Nature Devil for forwarding the interesting Chinglish image to me.

Bill Clinton

Former US president Bill Clinton was in Malaysia on Dec 5, 2008.

He is said to have visited KL Bird Park. I went there to take photos the following day. Missed it! Sigh…

Clinton revealed to Malaysian journalists some of the political leaders he admired. They included South Africa’s Nelson Mandela, Palestine’s Yasser Arafat and China’s Jiang Zemin. He also praised Malaysia’s former Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir for pegging the nation’s currency to US dollar during the 1997 Asian financial crisis. However, Clinton did not make it clear that he admired Dr Mahathir. That’s was face-saving trick for the host country, I think.

When I read that Clinton admired China’s Jiang Zemin, I recalled a joke about his visit to the Middle Kingdom. I am not sure if that is a true story, though.

The joke says that Clinton complimented Jiang’s wife, saying that she was beautiful. Out of traditional Chinese humbleness, Jiang replied, “哪里，哪里?” The translator relayed the message to Clinton, “Where, where?”

Clinton was first confused. Then he answered, “Everywhere…”

Tom Yam Coup

Thailand’s Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej has been ousted in a red hot tom yam coup.

A Thai court ruled on September 9, 2008 that Samak violated the constitutional for accepting payment for hosting TV cooking shows. Samak received payments of up to 2,000 baht (US$58) for each taping, which he told the court he used to buy ingredients for his recipes and pay his driver for petrol.

Samak’s transgression was a relatively minor one, and purely technical in nature. It was not related to mismanagement or the leader’s integrity. I personally think that a monetary penalty of say 50,000 baht would suffice.

I am sure this tom yam coup will go down the history as a world-famous joke.

Related post:

泰国流氓大亨

港式网络用语

[Updated on July 17, 2008]

因为想学摄影，而经常上香港的一个摄影网站。刚开始的时候，被港式网络用语搞糊涂了。看了许久，总算有了头绪。以下是一些有趣的例子：

Ching – 师兄

e+ – 现在

ee – 姨姨

大C – 大师

好5好– 好不好

arm arm 好 – ???

[Update 7/17/08] cup返 – ???

[Update 7/17/08] 好鬼O禁 – ???

王丹谈诡异

王丹，前中国学生领袖，1989年因领导北京天安门示威被逮捕。他在牢房里渡过几年岁月，然后被“流放”到美国。他最近写了一篇文章，题为“西藏。诡异。汉奸”，刊登于马来西亚星洲日报：

~~~~~~~~

我在电视上看到大陆的热血青年们围堵在家乐福门口，声嘶力竭地高呼抗议CNN的歪曲报导，说老实话也有点感动，毕竟，年轻人终于有了一些政治意识了。看他们那副激动的样子，多少也有一些我们当年的影子嘛。可是转念一想，他们在中国境内其实根本看不到CNN，因为境外媒体是不允许在国内播放的。你看这有多么诡异：原来中国大陆是这样一片神奇的国土，在这片国土上，你可以抗议CNN，但不能看CNN。你可以对西方的政府说不，但不能对自己的政府说不。不知道那些爱国青年们是不是有想过这个诡异的问题？

~~~~~~~~

我想起了一则冷战笑话：
美国人对苏联人夸赞西方社会的政治自由。他说：“在美国，我们可以焚烧美国国旗。” 苏联人回答道：“在苏联，我们也同样可以焚烧美国国旗。”

王丹如果有读过这一则笑话，就不会觉得中国青年抗议CNN是诡异的。是谁说中国没有政治自由？

Gimme this Camera

Canon EOS 50D Special Edition...



(Source: http://bbs.fengniao.com/forum/840908.html)

Food Crisis

Freak weather, rising oil price, use of biofuel as replacement for oil, growing consumer demand in China and India. These are the factors which contribute to soaring food price.

According to United Nation’s Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), food price worldwide rose 23% from 2006 to 2007. Grains went up 42%, oils 50% and dairy 80%. A food crisis is looming!

My plea to Americans and Vatican:

(This is a joke…)

Dear Americans,

As a short-term solution, please take up Atkins Diet and consume less grain. You can save the world. At the same time, you will slim down.

(Now this is serious…)

Dear Pope,

As a long-term solution, please lift the ban on contraception. The world population bomb is ticking and we are running out of food. Not to mention that condom reduces the risk of HIV infection.

Marketing in China

A number of years ago, I went to China on a business trip. I was in a city called Jining （济宁）in Shandong Province for two months. There, I came across a restaurant called California Beef Noodle King （美国加州牛肉面大王）.

The logo of the restaurant featured a man – supposedly the founder Mr. Li. It reminded me of KFC’s Colonel Sanders. Incidentally, the restaurant’s trademark and logo were painted in red, same color as KFC.

A few months later, I was on another business trip, this time to California. I frequented many “Chinese American Restaurants” during my stay there. Some of the most common Chinese American cuisines included Beef and Broccoli, Sweet and Sour Chicken, Kong Po Chicken, General Tsuo’s Chicken, Chap Suay and Egg Foo Yong. Not to be forgotten are the ubiquitous Fortune Cookies. Beef noodle? I am not sure if it ever existed in California.

Chinese consumers probably think that international brands are better than home-grown ones. Mr. Li clearly selected a Western-sounding name for his business. Smart marketing move . Last check, California Beef Noodle King is doing pretty well in the Middle Kingdom, but I doubt it will ever be great in the Golden State.

China's home-grown California Beef Noodle King

P/S

Maybe I should open a curry food restaurant in China and name it Texas Curry House （美国德州咖哩餐厅）. What do you think?

Langkawi in 2009

The hard-line Islamist party of Malaysia, PAS, scored big victories in the general election held recently. It has taken the state of Kedah, and its state commissioner has been sworn in as the new Chief Minister. (Read the news here.)

What does this mean to business?

The Langkawi Island, off the coast of Kedah, is a popular tourist destination with white sandy beaches and crystal clear sea water...

Now, the ultra-conservative state government controlled by PAS may pass new law to ban beachwear in Langkawi. What you will see, instead, is the burkini…

Canon's strategy for 2008

The huge kanji reads: Attacking!

Canon was number one in total digital camera sales last year, but lost the top spot of the lucrative DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex) market to arch rival Nikon. This year, Canon has decided to adopt an offensive strategy.

However, Canon’s latest photographic products, announced on Jan 24, 2008, are somewhat disappointing. I am not optimistic that the company could beat Nikon in the Year of Rat.