Thursday, October 18, 2007

Why would a man love another man

A few weeks ago, when I was having dinner with my MBA course mates, we touched on the topic of homosexuality. One of them asked, “Why would a man love another man?”

Not so long ago, a self-professed gay pastor, Ow Yang Wen Feng, caused uproar among the Christian community in this country when he expressed his wish to set up a church here.

In the U.S., Senator Larry Craig, who was known for his conservativeness, was recently arrested for lewd conduct in a men’s bathroom, suggesting that he might have been engaging in gay sex.

So now I am pondering on this question: Why would a man love another man? Or, for that matter, why would a woman love another woman?

Some say a person’s sexual orientation is determined at birth, or perhaps during conception. Majority of Christian churches, of course, insist that homosexuality is a learned behavior and call on all gays and lesbians to repent. They tell us many stories of ex-gays/lesbians who renounced the ‘sinful act’ and married people of opposite sex.

However, I am skeptical of these stories. Even if a gay man marries a woman, that doesn’t mean he has already become heterosexual. It is possible that he does so out of social or religious pressure. Rev. Ow Yang, mentioned earlier, had a wife too, but their marriage ended in divorce. Senator Craig, on the other hand, is still married to a woman.

The next question is: How many Malaysians are homosexuals?

I am reading a book, Microtrends, written by Mark Penn, a polling analyst. According to the author, about 5 percent of U.S. adults are homosexuals, two thirds of whom are men. That is, about 1 in every 15 men is gay, and 1 in every 30 women is lesbian. (That's a lot! )

If we assume, for the moment, that homosexuality is indeed a born trait, I expect same percentage of Malaysians are non-straight too. However, I don’t notice many gay men or lesbians around. Perhaps they are less willing to disclose their sexual preference compared to their counterparts in the West. After all, we live in a conservative society.


  1. Well, I don't know why.
    I only knew that if now someone is not married to the opposite sex at the supposed age, they would be said that they are homosexual in addition to very choosy. I don't know how about the others around this world.
    No offense to anybody here. Thousand apology.
    Hope you have a nice day.

  2. kai,
    Are you under pressure to get married? LOL

    Be careful, though. The book I read, Microtrends, says that many gays in America only have their first homosexual experience after 40, and they are married to women. Well, the two characters in Brokeback Mountain also have wives.

  3. kai, how old are you!?!??!??! Wakaka

    No ar, I from gals school, i see a lot of lesbians around. I heard there are gay & lesbian bars in KL also mar. Just that we normal straight ppl dun go only.

    What if I tell you I am bisexual? Does it change your impression towards me?

  4. aiya...princess,
    I already know you are lesbian/bisexual wat. You mentioned in your blog that you have many gf, and now *desperately* seeking bf... just not sure if 2nd part is out of pressure or pleasure...

    You know U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney? Cheney is a conservative but his daughter turned out to be a lesbian. Last heard, he had started to accept her.
    I guess I must also learn to accept homosexuals.

    Lesbians in gal schools? Hmm... does it suggest anything???

  5. khengsiong: No lah. I'm not underpressure. It's just when me and my friends are discussing this topic, or from the drama, it's been like that already.

    princess eileen: At my age, I can be your sister already, but not your aunt lah. Hahaha!

  6. Sorry kai, I got it wrong.

    There are many reasons why people are not married. Some are simply awkward in relationship. Some have fear in marriage, especially those whose parents are divorced...

    But then, there may be more gays/lesbians than I initially thought...

  7. ͬ�Ի�˫��u��Ӧ��Ӧ�ã����ʼ��ǡ��Ҿ����Ҫ�����Լ������ڸ��顣�����΢��ģ���˫��Ŭf���ţ���ϧ�����²��ܷ��ⷢ�a���Ȼ˼���ϵĹ�ͨ������ϵ��εε�Ĭ������ø������������#�������ʵ��ֻ��ϧʱ����ˣ����ø��飬���������Ƶ����ɣ��Ľ����������ſ���׷����ʱ��

  8. 玲别依依,
    I can't read your comment le...